Natural Icon Beauty Feature – KRYSTAL

Our Natural Icon Beauty for the Month of February is Krystal Tomlinson. Krystal is presently the PR Manager for the Digicel Foundation and have also shot up the ranks in Jamaican media in recent years. She has hosted across several platforms, including being the dynamic host of TVJ’s cooking programme, Nyammings and E-Prime. In the capacity of Social Researcher, she served as a panelist for the Gleaner’s live streaming of the recently held National General Elections.

She is such an accomplished young black queen that we could ask her so many other questions but we decided to focus mainly on her natural hair journey. We will definitely have to do another feature though as this Natural Icon Beauty is a force to be reckoned with and armed with a story that inspires many.
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Here’s our interview:

NIB: Hey Queen, I’m so glad you agreed to be featured as our Natural Icon Beauty of the month. Please introduce yourself to our readers. (Name, age, where you’re from, interests)

KT: Krystal Amoy Tomlinson, 25, born at in Kingston and spent my formative years growing up in Greater Portmore under the care of a strong matriarchal team (mommy, auntie and grandma). I have one younger sibling who towers above me in height so he’s launched an advocacy campaign for me to stop calling him my “little” brother! 😀

NIB: Define your style.

KT: I’m adventurous but I venture mostly between understated elegance and simple chic. I hate tight clothing, although I’ll wear it, but loose is always a preference.

NIB: What do you love about your natural hair?

KT: That it’s all mine. I love that it best reflects my personality (locs and their association with social rebellion); I also love low-maintenance hair styles and locs give me that freedom. It’s not expensive to maintain and the messier the cuter they seem to look. It’s also an expression of my willingness to take risks in a space where conformity is preferred. At the time that I locked my hair I was already on television but some persons thought it would offend viewers and get me kicked off TV. Though that never happened, I wasn’t worried about it but it did take guts to challenge mainstream beauty standards and it helps to see 4 other women also dominating the media space with their bold embrace of the black woman’s mane.

NIB: Have you ever processed your natural tresses?

KT: I tried to process the front once…when I was 18…to put in some version of weave. I hated the way I looked with straight hair and bought an afro wig to hide it until my roots came back.

NIB: When did you decide to loc your hair?

KT: In 2012

NIB: Some people are under the impression that having loc is hard and expensive to maintain, is that so?

KT: Not in my experience because my intention is not to have it slicked back all the time so I don’t tighten it often. I like when it looks a little messy. It would be costly to style your hair every week, whether processed or natural, so it really depends on the beauty standards of the individual.

NIB: What’s your hair regimen?

KT: I wash, treat and style my hair every two weeks. I use the Mango and Lime suite of products, coconut oil and sometimes shea butter.

NIB: I’ve heard stories of women who have been pressured to process their hair or who have experienced harsh criticisms, negativity and/or even sabotage because they wear their natural tresses. Have you had any such experience(s) solely or partly because of your locs?

KT: No I haven’t…I don’t think anyone is brave enough to go there with me. LOL.

NIB: What advice would you give someone who is experiencing such pressure?

KT: Be bold in your beauty. You have to decide what makes you beautiful because you are more than your hair. Own yourself! Love yourself! Live yourself! The more comfortable you get with who you are, the less concerned you’ll be with looking like other women and conforming to social standards.

NIB:  If you could describe your life, vision for your life, or guiding philosophy(ies) using three quotes, what would they be?

KT: 1. “Think generously, speak kindly, act fairly and live daily. Life is improved one thought, one word, one deed, one day at a time”

2. “Some people will speak kindly; don’t let it inflate your head. Some will speak unkindly; don’t let it deflate your heart.”

3. “Earn your success. If it’s handed to you , you may have to hand it back.”

NIB: You are such an inspirational young black queen and I know you are not one to live a life of regrets so what would you say was your most impactful failure or ‘mistake’? How did you rebound and what lesson(s) did you learn?

KT: When UWI (University of the West Indies) suspended my student privileges because of an exam riot that was led by myself and colleagues on the UWI Guild. I learned 2 things:

  1. As a leader you must be prepared to accept the praise and the punishment for the actions of those you lead. It’s a two-way street. If they succeed, you succeed. If they fail, you fail. You don’t get to opt out of the relationship when it suits you.
  2. Never out your name, face and voice behind a cause that you’re not willing to lose your reputation for. Thankfully, that was a cause that I truly believe in and so I was willing to accept the consequences.

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Thanks for those sound words Krystal. I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to do this interview. It was definitely enlightening.

I know most, if not all, will agree that Krystal is natural beauty personified, with a bubbly personality and good sense of humour. I have no doubt, if she continues on this extraordinary path, she is due bigger and better things. No pun intended 🙂

Love & Blessings,

Queen Stacia.

Follow on Instagram: @naturaliconbeauty

Like on Facebook: Click Here

 

Keep up with Krystal:

Instagram: @krystaltomlinson

Twitter: @kryticalmind

Facebook: Click Here

 

Credits:

Photography & Styling: @staciadavidson

Make up: @krystaltomlinson

Dress: @mamayashi

Earrings: @yaadtrendz

 

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Raise Your Price!

mighty race

“If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured, the world will not raise your price.”

I’ve always known this but the revelation has just now jumped at me so refreshingly and with such a convincing intensity that I had to write about it.

The secret has been out for so long, yet as a people, we refuse to consciously decide to act and change the way we view ourselves. We refuse to change our limiting beliefs of who we are and what we are worth. The startling realization that the ONLY thing that could be keeping you down, keeping you in bondage, keeping you poor, keeping you in bad relationships is how you see yourself, is still not even enough to force you to see your worth.

It’s as clear to me as daylight now. Have you ever wondered how such a strong, powerful, smart, ingenuous, creative race could succumb to being enslaved for so long? It’s simple, our oppressors weren’t any stronger, any greater in numbers, any more creative but what they had was the “secret”. You keep someone down by instilling their sense of worthlessness, by ensuring they never come to realize their worth. You do that to someone, and you have in your possession a devoted slave for life… a slave to oppressive systems, a slave to bad relationships, a slave to mediocrity, a slave to failure, a slave to low esteem… Now, you do that to a nation, to an entire race and you can just imagine the power you hold in your hands.

You’ll notice the minute someone starts seeing his worth, his actions change. The fact is, no one can change without first changing his mindset…That’s where it all starts. Our very decisions are affected when we change how we think. We start making better choices, accepting better things and refusing to accept that which is bad for us because we know what we deserve. Marcus Garvey said that without confidence in self we are twice defeated in the race of life but that confidence only comes when we realize our worth. Our worth is tied to our possibilities.

When you know your worth, you walk accordingly. So there is really no magic to what people have been saying all along about the law of attraction. If you are walking with your head down, if you have a low self esteem, if you are negative etc., you will send off that signal and you’ll attract those things and people to your life that may feed on those kinds of attitudes and energies. However, a woman, who is confident, looks good and knows it, knows what she’s about, knows what she wants and what she’s worth will attract those men bold enough to take on the challenge and will probably deter those that don’t think they can match up to the expectations. That’s the simple Law of Attraction…. we attract what we honour, what we respect and what we believe.

I’m not saying it’s easy to change how we think and how we view ourselves especially since some of us have been born to believe our worthlessness but it’s NECESSARY if we are going to improve our lives, make better choices and BUILD the confidence Garvey wanted us to have… What is good about you? What is different about you? Find out and instill in yourself a sense of worth. Read good books that will help the process. Hang around people who know their worth and who are confident and positive. Your life is in your hands. You cannot depend on others to make you feel worthwhile because such is the system of slavery and capitalism….designed to keep you in classes- one above the other, one smarter than the other, one richer than the other, one superior to the other…

Find your worth, cherish it, internalize it, live it….. and see yourself walk into a better life.

You are worthy. Raise your price!

Love,

Queen Stacia.

Follow on Instagram: @naturaliconbeauty

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4 Reasons He Invited You Over

Disclaimer: Ladies, this blog post is not my attempt to try to burst your bubble on the eve of Valentine’s Day and men, this is not an attempt to cock-block. There are other ways I could do that. My aim is simply to tell it like it is and maybe something I say will reach someone, either as comedy, mere entertainment or if I’m really lucky, someone will find my thoughts empowering. Or am I pushing it  a bit?

Anyway, there are some men who just love asking the question, “Are you coming over tonight?” and there is nothing wrong with that question. Women, just BEWARE. If you find that a man keeps INSISTING that you come to his house after you’ve only just met, he is probably up to no good. Well, let me put this another way because depending on how you view things, what he is up to may be all the GOOD that your body craves.*giggles* I couldn’t help myself with that one. I don’t know why I always run off chasing some random thought like a sex deprived dog during mating season. I blame it on the oil in my back. Nevertheless, all I’m saying is don’t think too much into things when he is in a hurry for you to come to his house. It’s not necessarily that he likes you so much and thinks that he has finally found the girl of his dreams.

In fact, on the contrary, FOUR (4) OTHER reasons come to mind why he would be PRESSURING you to make a house visit:

1. He wants to have sex with you. He wants the ‘good good’ and being at his house makes it easier for this encounter especially if you two are alone. It makes you more vulnerable to his advances.

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2. He is cheap. Let’s face it. House dates are cheaper- no gas, no entry fees and they usually end with sex so it’s really a win-win situation right there.

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3. He is hiding. Believe it or not, for whatever reason, maybe prince charming doesn’t want to be seen with you in a public setting. Could it be that he has a wife or is it that he is ashamed of you? Well, I have no idea why he is hiding. In fact, you may be tempted to ask why would a man that’s hiding bring you to his house since his girlfriend or wife can always show up. Don’t ask me ask the many men who have been caught red-handed. I have no idea why they do it and I am not trying to understand. That’s really not the point of this post. Stop trying to over think things because you want to feel special.  The point is, he may be hiding. Why would he bring you to the movies, dinner or that party where he could run into any “unnecessary problems” aka “friends of his girlfriend”, “his friends” or just “anybody”? And if he did bring you, he’d probably have to wear a mask and hoodie and we all know how that ended for Trayvon.

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4. He wants you to see his house. If he has a nice place, if he is rich etc, he tries to use that as a means of getting you in bed with him. The idea behind that is, he believes that the more money he has or is perceived of having, the greater his chances of scoring… IN YOUR GOAL. In other words, man logic is, if a girl thinks you have money or that you are rich, she’ll open her legs quicker and more easily. And who can blame them for thinking this?

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So basically ladies, those are 4 other reasons he didn’t tell you why you should come see him. You can either take my word for it, ask your brother, father or a good male friend but the dude who is pressuring you to come by his place is not looking to spending a quiet evening with you. It’s not that he loves your company, it’s not that he doesn’t like public spaces, and it’s not that he just wants to chill and watch a movie. The bottom line is, he wants to F*CK!

Happy Valentine’s Eve Day Queens!
Sex Visit Responsibly. *lol*

Love,

Queen Stacia.

Follow on Instagram: @naturaliconbeauty

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Love Shit Happens!

It’s Valentine’s Day in a couple of days so I thought I should write something on love and then I found this post I had written three years ago. With some minor edits, I’ve decided to reshare on this new platform:

I jumped out of bed this morning with a thought. No huge revelation just something that said, “hey this is what happened. You accepted shit.”

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My friend asked me one simple question one night and the way I answered (or not answered) had me thinking. It was as if I was afraid to be judged not because he would judge me but because as I looked back on my previous relationship I saw how I had allowed “love” to make me lower my standards. I’m grateful for all the lessons I’ve learned but it seems I’m still grappling with how I managed to foolishly let some things slide in the name of love. The diagnosis is clear. Love makes you do shit. It makes you accept shit. And it makes you not see shit as shit.

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Side Note: I’m sorry if I’m offending anyone by my insistent use of the word “shit” but it gets the point across as crudely as I want it to and have somehow managed to infiltrate my vocabulary. 

But anyway, as I was saying, love will make your usually superficial mind excuse the fact that he has a big nose. It will make you excuse his beer belly, his knocked knees, and his disproportionate body. Even worst, it may even make you excuse the fact that you’re being abused and/or that he has a girlfriend.

Just so you know, those were merely hypothetical descriptions and situations but the message is you all know that there were things you said you would never do and then you meet a guy, fall head over heels and, all of a sudden, you’re a girl on the side; all of sudden you’re being pounded on; all of a sudden, you’re with the pot belly guy. Yes, it happens, love makes you do some crazy shit. In fact, love makes you excuse the shit that people do. Like nincompoops, we hold people to a lower standard when we love them. 

I’m learning to do just the opposite actually. I’m taking no excuses to be treated poorly. There are no excuses to lower my standards. On the contrary, because I love you, I have to, I MUST hold you to a higher standard because you are now very capable of hurting me. 

I’ve learned that love is never a good enough excuse to accept shit.  Queen, when he disrespects you, say to yourself, sometimes love just isn’t enough. Because the truth is, sometimes it isn’t. Relationships need more than love. It takes respect, communication, trust and maturity etc etc. Why would you stay with a man that’s beating your ass and all in the name of love???? Then who’s to love you???  Why not leave his ass because you love yourself? Now doesn’t that sound like the better plan?

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Queens, I beseech you, don’t be tricked into this notion that makes you accept crap as valid excuses for lowering your standards and foolishly compromising your worth. I’m not saying that people don’t make mistakes, I’m not saying that you’re not going to find someone who is worthy of forgiveness but what I am saying is don’t use love as an excuse or a crotch to take shit in life. Try loving yourself first and you’ll find how much easier it becomes to not accept shit from others. You have got to learn that shit will always come from one place…. the ass.

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Thanks for visiting. If you like the posts, please share the link and remember to subscribe/follow so you can be updated when a new blog post is made.

Love xoxo,

Queen Stacia.

Follow on Instagram: @naturaliconbeauty

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Dashiki Girl

Straight up, I’m a Dashiki girl. I’ve been wearing Dashikis from my college days before it was trendy to do so. I got so excited when I found a store in Baltimore that sold them in every colour. Apparently it’s supposed to be a top but I wore it as a dress and paired it with the crochet gladiator sandals from Crochet Eye Candy.
I thought the Dashiki was the perfect outfit to kick start February being it’s Black History Month. I can probably also wear it on Valentines Day since it’s red. (Though a red blanket would probably make more sense as the only place I’ll be going on V-Day is to my bed.)

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Thanks for visiting. If you like the posts, please share the link and remember to subscribe/follow so you can be updated when a new blog post is made.
Love xoxo,

Queen Stacia.

Follow on Instagram: @naturaliconbeauty

Like on Facebook: Click Here

Credits:
Styling: @staciadavidson

Photography: @marz_jackson

Make Up: @lejounb.artistry

Sandals: @crocheteyecandy

What Am I Willing To Suffer For It?

As I lay in bed this morning contemplating whether or not to exercise, I came across this article  which could have easily been called “Salt” because that is exactly what it felt like while reading it; it was like I was pouring salt into my wound of excuses as to why I didn’t have to exercise this morning. It was timely and could not have been more appropriate for my situation. It spoke about how we all want things… and we claim to want them really bad. Whether it is to be rich, a particular job/career, a healthy happy relationship or a sexy beach bod. People will tell you what they want & they will always ask what you want. But the more appropriate question and the true test of what you truly desire is what are you willing to suffer for it? Stop! Pause. Let that marinate.

Are you willing to “suffer” early mornings, the sweat, the soreness and pain of exercising, the hunger pangs, sacrifice fried chicken and pizza, 60- hour work weeks, long commutes, long board meetings, obnoxious paperwork, tough conversations & the awkwardness of silence with your significant other?

Happiness requires struggle. The positive is the side effect of handling the negative.  If you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs.

Any time you are in a situation where you find yourself not wanting to do the things that are required in order to achieve this ‘thing’, this ‘goal’ that you claim you want so very badly, ask yourself this important question: What am I willing to suffer for it?

Suffice to say, I did my exercise this morning💪👙

Read the full article here

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*This was a post I made on Instagram a couple months ago and I found myself having to go back to it because sometimes you need a reminder to keep at it. I think you too will find it useful so I decided to post it here.